walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize