The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
