Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
