I just saw a hot homeless man
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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