dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
