Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize