Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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