I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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