Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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