Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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