If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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