Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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