your parents love me but you hate me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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