i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
