how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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