Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
