there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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