wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
