Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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