i need an iv and a liver transplant
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
