The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
