I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
