Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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