i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
