Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
