So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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