I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
