I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
