Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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