a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
