why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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