Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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