She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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