one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just found puke in my bra..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
