My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
