We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
