CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
