i'm signing you up for texting rehab
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
