Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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