If that was your dad, he is hot
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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