Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
