Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
