i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
