I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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