Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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