I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
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I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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