been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
