Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
