Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
