i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
