here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
