I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
