My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
