you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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