If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you would pick up someone in the library
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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