just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have tasted many bathrooms
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
