After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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