Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The struggles of a small town man whore
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
