the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
