so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
