Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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