Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
