i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
