Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
