I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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