I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
