Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
