I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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