Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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