I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
