is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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