I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
