Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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