Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just cut my nipple shaving
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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